So, Life goes on..

.. and yeah,.. Life is moving slowly.

It's been the 3rd day of my job-hunt. Still no replies yet. Haizz..

Gotta be more patient.



So far, this past few days.. what I'm doing is just catching up on my games and enjoying what I can now.

I've been..

Retrenched.

That's the buzzword of the year 2009.

Thank you Lehman Bros.,.. you've made my life a living hell.


Will update you guys soon..
Haizz....

A day gone from good.. to bad..

I have to say... I've lost all mood to chat, message, call, and talk to anyone today.

I hate to be stood up by anyone.. after plans have been made and confirmed for a long time already.

Today, I had made plan with my friend to meet up at 2pm. Got an SMS at 2pm, that he can't make it.. that he just woke up and suffering from a terrible headache. JUST yesterday, he was fine and all chirpy. AND now suddenly, you wake up and have a headache..? At 2pm?

SO CONVENIENTLY you got sick suddenly! FUCK OFF! Don't make plans with me again ever, bastard. Damn it!!

Anyways,.. Yesterday.. most of my primary school friends came down to the beach picnic held at East Coast. Had a great time... but damnit... FUCK!!

I wanna describe the fun things that happened yesterday, but the sudden reminder of how fucked my day had been today.. I lost all mood again!

Haizzz...

WHERE ARE YOU WARDA?!! THE TIMES WHEN I NEED YOU MOST TO COMFORT ME... haizzz...

Its been a long time..

Hi there folks..

Kinda been toooooooooooooo busy with work.
I might not be free to write a blog now.. maybe in a couple of days time.

Just to let you know, I'm doing fine lately. Sleepy as usual. Heh..!
Will update you guys/gals soon.

It always had to be him..

I forgot to post this earlier..

Well,.. it was a day after my outing to celebrate my anniversary with Warda last Saturday (so its a Sunday la.).. feeling all happy. As I got a present from my girlfriend, a custom-made Famous Amos Cookie, in the shape of a heart, I wanted to take a pic of it..

Haha.. so sweet of her to have gotten me the cookie.. anyways..

Ya, so it was a Sunday morning.. and I woke up to immediately find my mum had taken a piece off the cookie. Kinda got mad.. but well.. its food.. meant to be eaten.

So, I proceeded with the photo-taking. I cleverly concealed the bitten off area with the cookie's casing. Heh,.. so I requested for my brother's camera phone (since mine, can't seem to snap pics..).. to which I noticed he kept denying me the usage. I told him again.. 3 times,.. it WAS my phone, and I gave him for only the purpose of communication. So at any time I request for it, there should not be any hold ups. He kept procrastinating,.. and kept telling me to use my mum's phone, which had a bad camera.

After much verbal abuse and probing (mind you, all this was in the morning..),.. I got to know.. my brother, had lost his phone (the one I gave him..).

A Sony Ericsson W610i, the first phone I bought with my OWN cash on, my 22nd birthday. MY HARD-EARNED CASH!!.. shit!

That phone went through alot with me! Went through my NS days, in the jungle, heartaches, datings, arguments, and alot of my firsts with Warda.

Damn, I love that phone.. thought of 'keeping it alive'.. by giving it to my bro, but ever since he used it,.. my phone, cosmetically looks like shit. And now he lost it!

He's gonna pay for it!

P.S.:- I finally bought a game.. after a few months from the release of GTA4 PC. I got me,

WANTED: Weapons of Fate.

Playing now,.. will tell you about it soon.

The day to remember..

Today.. 3 years ago.. 12 hours away from now.

Is the death of my late cousin, to a rather big motorbike accident.

Junaidi Bin Khamis, 31 years old, attached and ready to get married. That was his status then.

I still remember clearly how much fun I had when he was around. I mean, yeah, he does playfully tease me.. but I have to say, he is the CLOSEST to a bigger brother. Damn, I miss him. It was a real shock to me to hear that my family lost a relative to an accident. Haizz.. I mean, I thought it was a dream when my mum, told me she was heading to the hospital that night 3 years ago. I was already asleep.. ready for camp the next day.

I'm not the type that cry... but that day.. I wept.. and I didn't stop 'til I slept that night.

At a young age,.. 31 years old.. planning to get married. Well,.. he's in a better place now.

About a few months later.. its my girlfriend's brother's demise too.. He had a crash. I wish I could get to know him.. I mean,.. we could relate alot. Well..

Yeah,.. today is a remembrance day.. for the ones we lost.

May they rest in peace.

Everything went so well..

Everything went so well yesterday.

It was my second year anniversary.. and I felt so great.


We caught 'Coming Soon' at the cinema.. though we really wanted to catch 'Slumdog Millionaire'. Haha.. too bad. The timings were so late!

I treated her to dinner, at Pastamania. Wow.. really feeling sia!

And yeah.. then we took a walk to Cathay and sat down.
Not long ago, I made a video, a photo montage of our past years. It really touched my girlfriend, she cried watching it.. hugging and kissing me.

Then I gave her a Heart-shaped pendant. I think she loved it!

I feel so loved now.. love her so much.

Hehe.. I hope to make it a better anniversary next year.

Two sides of a coin.

3 days ago.

We had a general meeting. One of our highly publicised work was done and ready to be showcased to the world (more like Asia) on the 24th (supposedly) of March.. and we were all congratulated.

Yeah,.. didn't really feel attached to the project but I did feel that sense of pride.

Minutes later, was called in.. for a small talk with boss. To my surprise, for that very moment, I felt appreciated by him.. (finally, after so long). He told me I got the drive, and that I've stepped up my 'game' and now playing a better role. That talk gave me a motivation, to work harder.

I realise, that talent is always overshadowed by Hardwork.. and I've proven that by doing alot to catch up on the schedule within 2 weeks of HIGHLY stressful amounts of workload. I did my part.

BUT,.. just yesterday, I got told off my him. Yeah, I understand, I accidently dozed off in front of him. And he kept telling me about the talk we had. Heh,.. you don't know how tired I am... lethargy is still not cleared out of my system after that past few weeks of full-on concentration! But I controlled.. then again in the evening.. as I'm doing work, (mind you, I was doing the fastest I had ever been) I was reminded 'gently' about 'stepping up'. Boss kinda caught me watching videos.. but hey.. my hands never stopped moving. I've churned out alot of work yesterday.

I WAS TOLD, I'M NOT CONTRIBUTING TO THE COMPANY..
What do you want?!!

AND I GOT PUT DOWN.

Well,.. whatever la.. I'm under his payroll. Can't do much but lick his shoes.. for now.

Fuck it la.. but at the same time.. I feel so happy to tell the world.. I'm with my girlfriend for 2 years today!

And I'm so proud to have her with me. I want to make it 'til the end with her. It's also time for me to step up to the moment.. and I've got a lovely gift for her..

Tell ya more about it in the next entry!

WHAT THE F**K??!!

Yesterday, Danial asked me out to accompany him to Sim Lim.. (just browse around.)

So we took the train.

You see... there's a small park between ITE Simei and the EXPO... and as we about to reach Tanah Merah.. We saw someone sitting on the bench.. (looks like a middle-aged China man..).. and he is vigorously... MASTURBATING!!!

And you know whats the worst part..? When we saw him masturbating... HE CAME!!
WHAT THE F**K???!!!

I mean... and I thought.. Isn't Singapore a very conservative country..?
I know these things happen.. but... WHAT THE F**K?!

Haizz.. sicko!

Weekly Blogs?

Dang,.. it's turning out to be a weekly blog here.. once a week kinda thing. Hehs.. Thanks to work.. I've been forced to do a weekly update here.

Oh well..

Yeah,.. I've been well,.. I've been great.. but I did hit a low again.. but still its just work. Frustration has started to kick in. I'm hoping soon this will end by April!

You know what?.. End of this month.. I'm going for another Paintball session! And I'm hoping I could bring my girlfriend along. I just want her to have fun, just call it, another Anniversary gift from me to her.

By the way,.. I've suddenly had the inspiration of going to Thailand. Maybe end of this year.. With Alfredo, Sarah, Danial, Me, My Gal,.. and maybe other friends too. Hehe,.. I can't wait! I hope my gal can save up for the trip too.. for I know, I'm gonna save up for that trip!!

Well,.. for now,... BACK TO WORK!

I'm so exhausted.

This is really the most exhausting period in my entire working life in this company.

I feel so overwhelmed!

Nevermind.. I'm so gonna work hard and manage my time right.

I need the time!

Its been tough this past few days.. I'm at my all time low..

And I nearly... broke up with my girlfriend of nearly 2 years.. out of my own selfish ways. I realised.. she means so much to me.. THAT I cried to even think I questioned my love towards her.

I shall not go deep into it..
For now I know,.. its resolved.. and I can feel,.. the love coming back.

I really am feeling so overwhelmed and overworked.. at work.
Haizz... I'm actually fearing that I might lose my job.. as I can't seem to hit the datelines.. AS TOO MUCH IS GIVEN TO ME SUDDENLY!!

God give me the strength and confidence..

What's going on..?

I don't understand why lately,.. I've been in the most foulest mood.

My girlfriend is suffering the sharp end of it. I've lost the mood to even reply her smses. The only time I communicate with her is when SHE calls me.

But at least,.. I feel I've talk things out with her today. I apologised to her.. for the way I've been treating her. I've been neglecting her,.. been out of mood to even talk to her and.. it's like, nothing is going well when I'm out with her.

And,.. I found out.. work.. has taken its toll on my relationship. I've been returning home late for the past few days. Gonna make it up to her soon.. FUCKING hell!!!.. when's payday??!!..

Damn.. I feel like a bad boyfriend.. I don't blame her.

I blame my self.

Aiza's Engaged on V. Day!!

And.. Noraiza, is finally engaged, on the 14th of Feb.
Congrats to her.

Ok,.. make things short, Noraiza, a.k.a Aiza (Kak Aiza), is my very very old 'mum' of mine in Primary school. Haha.. Just a very close friend.

Anyways, wow.. she was beautiful, I have to admit it. (But, definitely,.. if she looks good,.. my girlfriend will look way better on her day. Hehe..)

Yeah,.. a good short gathering with most of my old buds. Fun day, yet hot.. Haha..
Take a look at the pics.

Official loss.

The numbers are in.. and its official.

I have hit 91kg.
Just 1kg shy from 90kg. Woohoo!..

First target, attaining soon.. gimme another... week or so. Hehe.. Feeling confident!

Left for dead.

Had a late night gaming session with friends, Alfredo, Danial, Sarah (Alfredo's date), Alfian (Alfredo's bro), Ronald (Sarah's bro) and Darryl (Alfredo's cousin), at Parklane Mall last Saturday (Sunday morning). Fucking hell, it was so fun. Left the session, with a sore throat. I mean c'mon.. we were playing Left4Dead. Haha.. Trust me.. YOU will leave the session with a sore throat ahha..

Left4Dead you ask?
Here's a link for you to read up about on the game... Left4Dead.

Yeah, been out and coming home late for the past 2 days straight. Tiring.
Started from last Friday and the next day. On the Friday, we had actually planned to play that game, but got so engrossed chatting away and having fun, we decided to just have Beancurd for supper and chatted all the way 'til 1am. Heh.. and apparently, Saturday was written above.

Yesterday, rested well enough. Somewhere around 1pm, I headed to Danial's place. Played Skate2, Mirror's Edge and FIFA 09 on his Playstation 3. Headed home at around 6pm, and rested, showered, had light dinner and watched The Dark Knight on my PC 'til about, 9.30pm.

Played GTA4 'til 11.30pm, chatted with my gal for a bit, and finally hit the sack. Felt, like routine yesterday. Bet, it was dull to many.. even for me.

Looking forward to another session.. Hehe..

By the way,.. I've made a slight progress on my art piece. Check it out.

Sheesh-harhhhh.. *cough* *cough*

Hurgghhh!!!... hurgh.. damn.. dry dry dry.. Throat is still dry.

Just 2 days ago, I was at Reis Turkish Cafe, along Haji Lane, in the Arab Street area. I came there with a thought of having kebabs.

Not long ago, near my house, there was a 'pasar malam'. Reis Turkish Cafe had a booth there.. but never got the chance to buy or taste the kebab. So tempted, that I waited 'til payday, and when the day my girlfriend is free, I brought her there. Let's just say, its also meant to celebrate our 1 year 10 months together, which fell on the 20th. (Just another 46 more days.. to my 2nd year Anniversary.)

Heh, I know what to get for her.

OH oh.. back to the story.. Yeah so I was at Reis Turkish Cafe along Haji Lane. My girlfriend and I decided to sit on the 1st floor. We ordered our foods respectively.. I ordered their famous Kebab.. thing. My gal, ordered an assortment of Fish, Calamari and Chicken with fries by the side.. meal. We ordered a side dish of cheese fries. Well, honestly,.. the food wasn't that fantastic, but the cheese fries tasted great. Hahah..

My gal suggested sheesha. I wasn't really into it. Heh.. but well,.. I tried. And its not really good for my throat. It's still dry today. And for my gal, who sheesha's more than me, had a headache and vomitted. Haha.. weird!

It's ok the sheesha,.. but I can't see myself sheesha-ing anytime soon.. maybe on the anniversary.

Anyways, pics are here for you to enjoy.. just click on 'em, ya?

Chinese New Year.

Hello again.

And a Happy Chinese New Year to my Chinese friends and colleagues. Hoping all of you are prosperous this year.

Well,.. as for me,.. It was a boring break for me. This is one time of the year, that I really don't know what to do and where to go. Nearly everywhere is closed. Even today, while walking to my workplace.. many shops are closed. Haha.. (suddenly wished my company is still closed for the week.. hehe)

Took this opportunity to head out to the gym. Mostly did my runs, and worked out my arm and leg muscles. Still hurting now.. especially my thigh.

But it was great being at the gym.

You should go to the gym too..

By the way,.. I've updated the painting I've been doing for the past few weeks. Kinda moved further now. Hehe.

Paintball.... GAME ON!!

AHAHAH...

And I've finally felt how great it was to torment someone.. with the paintball marker. Heheh..

My company have planned a Paintball Session today for a little, company event.

OK,.. a brief introduction.

Paintball.. started around the 1970's. By a farmer who got bored on a lazy Sunday afternoon (why is it always a lazy SUNDAY afternoon... anyways..). The 'rifle' that shoots the paintballs was actually used to mark cows or sheeps that are meant for slaughter. Hence,.. the 'rifle' is called a "Marker". So that's the brief..

Yeah...!!!

HELL YEAH..!! Had so much fun.. (except that I pulled a muscle around my groin).

Guess, National Service taught us NSmen well on how to fully utilise covers. Heheh.. Well. I did, I was mostly the one that is behind covers shooting... kinda accurately. Got a few headshots.. WOW that was satisfying. Hahahah..

I thought is gonna be so painful, but no. It's just like,.. someone threw a rock at you, but not that painful to bleed. I have two clear hits on my left hand and lower arm. Very mild grazes on my right wrist. Hehe..

Learn to cover, but never lose sight of your objectives. Its 'kill' or be 'killed' in the playing zone.

By the way, its located just opposite of Yishun Stadium. It's inside Bottle Tree Park. Red Dynasty Paintball is the name of the company.

Thinking of going again man.. Hehe... this time, with friends.

I am down with Diarrhoea.

Thanks to my brother, I got diarrhoea. Shit... (literally).

Woke up yesterday, to diarrhoea.. and then about 30mins later.. nearly vomitted.
Goodness, I didn't have the mood to do many things eventhough I had the day to myself at home.

Went to the Tampines Polyclinic to get my MC.. bought my lunch and rested (sleep) from 3.30pm to 8.3pm. What a great rest! Ahahaha!

By the way,.. my painitng has progressed further.. take a lookie..

Attack of the Manicure!

Officially, yesterday.. I HAD MY FIRST MANICURE!!

My girlfriend did a 'testing' session on me. Hahaa.. It was nice.. yet scary too. I mean,.. when someone holds a sharp object and uses it to cut the skin.. wouldn't you have that fear.. during your first time?

Hahaha.. but it was fun. I mean.. she is confident too. I love that in my girlfriend. Haha.. traded jokes and kept laughing the whole manicure session with her. All this done under a void-deck at Simei, after we had dinner at Banquet, which is at East Point.

Especially love the moment she starts buffering the nails.. Hahaha.. Now its shiny!
By the way,... I actually love to see my nails shine. Hehe..

The woman in me is satisfied.

Hahahahahahahaha... FUCK!!

It's fun!

It's been many uncountable months since I last did something for myself digitally.

I've started digitally painting,.. and this time, I've gotten my inspiration from an upcoming game. Killzone 2.

Thought of doing a Fan-Art for 'em.. and its gonna be my best work ever!!
Haha..

I'll post the image of the work.. and I'll update every few days.

Again, I'm feeling this way.

Call me emotional.. call me immature, call me whatever you want. It's my fucking blog, and you're here 'cause you want to read it.

But, I really do feel,.. like, I'm under-appreciated. I really don't know what to do. Be it work, be it at home, and be it with my girlfriend. I just am so lost right now..

I just realised that my evening runs around my house, is the only means for me to be (literally) alone with myself, listening to my mp3 songs from my phone. Only thing to keep me grounded is my pursuit to losing weight.

Hmm.. I feel proud that I have lost.. 1kg (for now), officially, no longer water-loss. Its really my fats. And I keep getting negative feedback from my dad, I don't intend to tell my girlfriend about this too. (If she reads this,.. I'm not bothered.. let her know how I feel.) I'm gonna shut up, and just do my runs, my exercises, and soon, my gym training. I'm not gonna tell anyone, except my friend, Iswandi, who is my Weight-loss Adviser.

Haizz... Is there any way, I can get my girlfriend to be more open, more extrovert?
I'm hoping I can get an answer..

Am I losing the whole plot again?..

Glory to the Devil!

A resounding 3 - 0 win!!

My goodness,.. in a match I was thinking Man United would go down 1 - 0 to Chelsea, Man United surprised me.

Haha.. call me a pessimist.. or whatever.. my loyalty to the club has never wavered from 1998.

Looking forward to being on top of the Barclays Premier League Table. We're just 5 points shy of the top spot.. hehehe..

C'mon United, push off from now on.. go forth and win it all!

Damn, I'm sleepy after watching this match..

Don't ask me for insight if I'm gonna be put down.

As the title implies.. don't bother asking me if any insights, suggestions or comments are gonna be put down hard.

Since an insight, suggestion or comment.. is just an insight, suggestion or comment,.. leave all your remarks to yourself.

'Cause, even a stupid insight, suggestion or comment can make a whole lot of change / difference to many things.

Think about that before you shoot down anyone.

It is confirmed.

Yeah,.. Paintball with colleagues on the 22nd of January. (Team-building event.. heh.. more like Team-slaughtering.. hehehe..)

My first ever paintball session.. it's definitely gonna hurt. Hey, a 20 cent coin-sized bruise at every hit of the projectile.. its really gonna hurt.. yet gonna be fun too.
Hmm.. can't wait for that day.. just wanna get a break from the monotony of work.

By the way, my running seems to be getting better.. as in, my fitness is getting better. I managed to complete my regular distance, at a faster pace yesterday night. Today, I'm not gonna push myself,.. just run and well,.. don't push. Tomorrow, taking a break, and this coming Saturday, is my IPPT. (That's why, I am not pushing myself,.. to avoid injury or muscle fatigue.)

Yup.. I just need to sleep or rest earlier than normal.. ever since I started running.. I'm always waking up not feeling freshed. Sleeping earlier might solve this matter.

Anyways, it seems, this year's resolution is turning out to be a reality. Hehe..

And I feel... I got a renewed feeling of love towards my girlfriend. Detail's?..
Let's just say, there are words she mentioned to me that made me feel better,.. and more confident. I love her.

A new year.. without any bang.

Yeah.. 2009 came.. and not with much fanfare.

Economic downturn.. is the serious cause of this glumness. But, just be prepared to be spending and living tighter than before.

Anyways, I have bad news.. my girlfriend's grandmother has passed away. Today, exact time, I do not know.. but today, she died, of old age.. we're all assuming at the moment.

Yeah, at this time of typing, the body has just left the house, to be buried..

Honestly, I do not know what to do.. or say. I've never ever, in my entire life, experienced a grandmother passing away. This is one part of me.. I will never experience. So to be fair and honest, I do not know how to react.

I've only experienced the loss of cousin to a bike accident... miss him.

For now,.. I will try to understand the feelings of my girlfriend and give her all the space that she needs. I hope to give her all the opportunity she can if she ever needs a shoulder to cry on.

Damn,.. I know its hard to lose someone.. but.. I can never feel the same way as her.

Only thing I can advice.. be strong, dear.