The First Post and its all crap.

Wow, my very first post and it's gonna suck.

Trust me.. 'coz I had one hell of a day.

Firstly, well being a Storyboard Artist, you have to have a good set of drawing hands to do the scenes nicely. My job is to draw a scene or recreate a scene from a script and my imagination. It sounds fun and easy.. TRUST ME! It's not easy at all.. when you have loads of things to 'copy from, like character sheets. Gotta be mindful of character sizes, Background and placements. NOT EASY!

Well,.. I can cope.. only that it gets more and more demanding, like today. Officially, I was told my works are not up to standard. Here's the thing about Storyboarding..

I understand we need to keep it clean from the roughs.. but the animators (basically, once I'm done 'boarding out the scenes, animators take over.), yes the animators, DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW DRAWING AFTER DRAWING. Yes I set the designs as such.. but if I had skewed the drawing a little.. YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW IT. Common sense please... THAT IS WHAT THE CHARACTER SHEETs ARE FOR!! Damn it..

Well,.. I'm paid to work.. not to complain.. and this fasting period is really making me test my patience.

It doesn't help too.. that when you're at fault and the cause of many of your relationship's problems. The other is adamant but always patient.. and the other just won't bother to realise. AND the don't bother is me.

Fuck right being me. I was never like this. I was better than this.. better in every way possible that she even once said,.. "Why didn't we meet earlier? I'm so happy to have you..". I guess, and ain't confident, I would say I was good enough for her then.. Now it seems like I've totally lost faith in myself.. I've lost her respect for me.. feeling as though I'm unappreciated even for the small things I did for her. I'm just so lost and I just been patiently waiting for a sign.. or rather.. I don't even know what I'm waiting for. I don't want to lose her.. for its been the best times through thick and thin, dark and light.

I want to be the man that I was.. when money was never a problem.. when Time would just be there for you.. when efforts are realised.. and when Love was ever present. From where I have failed.. I have seen changes.. and from where I see changes.. I see a little more of my old self. Taking things a step at a time.. If she cannot be patient.. then.. I AM NEVER meant for her.

BUT FUCKING HELL... I love her.

Well on a sour note.. I still am content how the day went.. and realise that I'm still not as good as I thought I was. Time to look at myself in the mirror.. and realise the shit that I am.

WHAT A FUCKED UP first entry. heh.. it'll get better I promise.